Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
