it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
