it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
