You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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