..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
