WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
