Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
