Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
