Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
