This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
this boner is exhausting
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
