We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
