i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
