Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
