chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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