I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
