absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
