Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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