Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
