pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
