Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
