PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
