i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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