Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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