My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
