standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
