Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
