I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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