Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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