how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have tasted many bathrooms
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
