someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
