She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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