You made me cry and you don't even care
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
