Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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