weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
