I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
