im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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