i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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