...so i touched it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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