The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
