Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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