I'm so fucking centered right now
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
