For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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