Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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