when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You smell like stripper and shame
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
