I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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