capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
