All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
