how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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