I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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