Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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